.Wednesday, February 28, 2007 ' 8:46 PM Y
I miss my fellow papaya. yeap, that's him, and he made me wanna. =)
My heartbeat had died since the 24th of feb 2007.
Wake me up on the 11th of march ba. (=
.Saturday, February 24, 2007 ' 4:31 PM Y
not in the mood to study...I have been quite hardworking recently, trying to finish all my tutorials, and to chant for my happiness..nahz..our happiness. yeap, met a major problem just recently. Its only been 4 days, could not sleep well. I have no appetite either. When i see food in front of me, i will just get totally turned off. By the way, i have already made up my mind, and i have already so called know what to do and what are the best methods. We have to stand strong, to be determined to find that feeling back naturally. No stress, no forcing of either party. I know we can do it.haiz, but set to say, that day was really "lucky".come back by my side. Now we have grown much mature and we know what is the best for us, lets give each other a chance and we will definitely grow stronger..Right now, i have a few things in mind...study hard, settle my emotions, handle my problem well, stand firm on my decision and get trust from him.dear, i need you, coz i really really love u..
.Thursday, February 22, 2007 ' 10:12 PM Y
well...lottas things have changed. dear was out for one week..and many things happened. in short, we quarrelled and being wu nai, he initiated a breakup. i'm really sad. i know there is a lot of things to be done. but glad that i managed to hold back this relationship. He doesn't calls me dear anymore, but i can see that he still love me, maybe not as much as last time, and he still cares for me a lot. Life with dear is great!! He is my one and only. I really miss u...i really love u a lot!! dear, trust me. You told me that feeling for me had faded away, that's perfectly normal for a couple, and we had distance when u were in army. I fully understand that it takes time to heal. yea, out character might clash, but again, it is very normal between couples!! Dun worry dear. It is a matter of compromising, and both parties will have to compromise. Dun feel that way that i will be wei qu. I'm ur girlfriend, ur darling. It is a basic thing to do for relationship. We are still on the process of learning. On the way, we might feel tired and hurt. But ultimately, we still learn our lesson and grow stronger.We still love each other, i know. Lets talk face to face when u are out of army. I can feel the love u gave me, how much u dote me. In the past, i love to quarrel with u, to show u how important my presence is, and how much i cared for you. But i din know that it will hurt u that much. I'm glad that you gave me a chance to wait for you and to help you heal. Dear, lets work together, yo find the feeling back. Dun feel pressurise, dun feel stress. I am always here to support you. No one can replace your position in my heart.This two weeks is the time when we really calm down and think. I hope the feeling wun fade even more. As long as you still love me, maybe not like before, there is still high chance to revive that feeling. This is the intermediate stage. Dun feel scared, dear. There is always me.Frankly speaking, my mood was really bad. I dun eat for the whole day coz i had no appetite. I fell even more ill. I kept thinking of dear. My tears kept flowing non stop, like the running tap. I kept crying in school, i had to rush to the toliet and hide in the cubicle to relieve myself. I took advice from junwei, marcus and shaojie. Din manage to contact laoda. Thanx to the three of them, for supporting me these two days and also to give me super useful advices.At the moment, i wanna concentrate on my revision on common test. And also chant faithfully everyday to give me the wisdom to choose, and also hope that the feelings will revive and he will be back to my side like last time. I will do something on my part too. I'm so desperate that i am really willing to give my everything to him... Nam-myho-renge-kyo...I wanna hug him tight i never let him go. I wanna him by my side, supporting me. I really need you, dear!
.Tuesday, February 13, 2007 ' 8:50 PM Y
Was busy recently. hmm let me see..did a lot of hmk and studying...and yay, i MUG!! =) did lots of shopping at the same time. Slept quite last night, so i guess i would be sleeping early today.
Tomorrow is valentines day..i bet it would be a boring one..haha, since he is away and i have cca until 6pm tomorrow..lol.
Just wondering to myself, has things changed for the better, or has the problem been resolved? puzzled!!! (=
jackson
marcuskelvintiffany
pearlypeilingcindysandyjason
peggysamboondennisjiaweijidanhuilinamy
yongqifangxiantsuyineeweipeizheneunicesihuiyiling
soohueyjimmyjianjunjiaminshihuajianweiyannmingchenghanxueting
LOL, cool uh!! pyramid of besties!! haha. just feel like ranting all of a sudden. =)
.Thursday, February 08, 2007 ' 8:59 PM Y
i dun wanna do this anymore, i dun wanna be the reason why, everytime i look at the door..i wanna LEAVE!! i dun wanna get hurt...i'm not a murderer, i dun wanna be a murderer , and i am not the type of person you think..Having said so much, i dunno where to start my speech from.. Many things happened recently, just this year, bits and pieces. I hope i was just being oversensitive, but things were just so different from last year. I am totally aware that our friendship had somehow changed, but i chose to ignore, coz i don't want to blow up the matter. I know that it may be my fault, i may have done something wrong, but the whole world knows except me. I remained oblivious and unaware of the surrounding changes, till now... Its been two weeks, being so lonely and miserable. I have been questioning myself the past few days, what have i done wrong, did i really offend anyone. If it was really so, please tell me, i'm really sorry. These two days were a bit better, but we were not like last time..somehow..I'm glad that i was able to survive these two weeks. But it was really bad for me. I have been chanting hard, hoping for the better. Thanks to junwei for consoling me, which then allowed me to regain my faith in myself. I am sure that i have no intention of hurting anyone. The friendship had somehow broken off, but i am still clinging on to it, leaving it unmend. Like what junwei said, i shld do something abt it..i've tried, and i am still trying my very outmost best..dear has been away for a month, and yet so many things can happen in this particular month. I then realised that i need him a lot, apart from my parents' love and care. why why why??? I felt bad when he contact me every saturday, especially these two weeks. I had very much wanted to tell him about my "serious problem" that i mentioned to him. I dun wanna spoil his mood, i know that he is doing well in army, i want him to maintain this until he is out of camp. I was desperately looking for somehow who can lend me his/her listening ear, and also to give me some suggestions. But i apparently i found only one, despite the fact i have a number of close friends around me. I am always fully occupied by different cliques of friends during the weekends. I felt so blissed sometimes, but sometimes not when i thought of the pillar which supported me for a year, had fallen apart. Last week, i mention to him abt this "serious problem", and i left him so worried for me. I cried after sms-ing him abt that problem. Not because i missed him to much, but because i knew that i hurt him again. Last week, he called me..he wanted to know what i was doing recently. I din say much, and i din make him happy either..the phone just hung up automatically when the prepaid card was used up. It happened twice already, and i always felt pain and "she bu de" when it auto hang up. I understand it is not easy for him to contact in army and yet he still take all the trouble, find all means to contact me, either via sms or on the phone. Despite of that, i still scolded him two weeks just because of my mood swing. I know that i shld'nt be doing that, but what has been done cannot be undone..I felt so lousy all of a sudden..i'm lousy friend, lousy daughter, lousy student, and last but not least, a lousy girlfriend.2006 was really a great year, and i missed that year a lot..the times when we were good, the times when dear tried to cheer me up, the times when all of us had so much fun, the times when i looked forward to school....In conclusion, things have changed, and you have certainly changed too..when will my botak head be able to go out with me again, like last time?? i miss you.missing you like maddd right nowww....
.Wednesday, February 07, 2007 ' 11:13 PM Y
hmm..just get to see the chalet photos from pearly's website!! Thanx a lot!! and yeap, apparently, there are quite a number of photos, and this was what we did in short. hehe..pretty????
yeap, i did that collage just now. haha! going shopping this sat with boon and peg!! it gonna be fun, but heartaching upon seeing the hole of my pocket getting BIGGER!!! =)
I am looking forward to next friday..somehow.i wanna see him right NOW!! Miss you lottas!!
.Tuesday, February 06, 2007 ' 7:26 PM Y
One month just past unknowingly, and its the 2nd month of the year already. Quite tired recently. Went got sandy's bdae chalet on saturday and sunday, din really sleep well for these two days. Thanks a lot for inviting me, sandy! haha. The photos are still with pearly! oOo..camwhored with marcus ytd, and tiffany commented that we appeared so coupl-ish in the photos! oPps! Dun get the wrong idea alright!!
9 more days before he is released for cny break. I am looking forward to it already!!...although i dun know whether he can come over and visit me or not.. (=
