it's lovee;

.Friday, May 30, 2008 ' 10:55 PM Y

Tiring days recently. Had NDP training yesterday. It was a bad one. My travelling time was longer than the time i had for the training. Bedok camp is seriously too far..i thought i could reach at 8pm..but haiz.. Then the returning home part was also bad.. ran like mad..alone on the bus to yishun, slept all the way, din have any energy left to talk to the girl who sat beside me.. Dun think i will go for training next thurs..its seriously too far but not fulfilling at all.

Today. Came earlier than usual to office. Customer visit sucks. The work can get so demanding. And lil girl like me, even though paid lousy-ly by RE, first time in a relatively big company, have to know so much, and when there is problem, it all goes to me. A big lesson learnt today. If you wanna survive in working sectors, you must be either, 1) a good degree or smth even better, 2) good relationship with ur boss, 3) know how to dress up and suck up to the key personals or ur superior. 4) work in the company for a number of years to gain "recognition". haiz..this is life. SAD. Just realised that fresh grads who just came out to work as an EXECUTIVE, tends to be very arrogant, think they know everything, love to dress and doll up pretty-ly to attract others attention, and most imptly suck up to their superiors. Oh well, i make sure i get myself a good degree and let those snobbish executives who offended me one way or another to look up on me.

HAHA. But despite of having some hiccups during my work at times, im really blessed to always have a bunch of colleagues who never fail to assist me and give me guidance without being so arrogant and fierce. I always thank then sincerely in my heart.

The above was just a general idea. No personal attacks though. i swear. But i think no one can really be as nice as me..to withstand all the snobbish-ness..

Yeap. So i took a half day afternoon leave today to settle my letters stuff. Met peggy at lot 1. Had lunch in adjisen. Then headed to pj to get my testimonial..rawrr..but it was still not signed! So i have to cum back again next week. Had a long chat with 林老师, my j1 chinese teacher. Managed to find mrs tong, and she kinda keen to help me with the letter, thanks a lot!! But i got to draft up my letter first. But really a big thank you to you for willing to lend a helping hand! Cant find mr lum, but will still continue to call him. Left sch at ard 5.15pm.. then peggy came my house to use my com. Coz she needs to accept her uni offer, ntu business, and she also need to do some research on the laptop promotion, coz her com is like spoilt!

Photos photos! Taken when she was using my com.

peggy is so shy!

Then i took a pic of myself.

then we took one together coincidentally.

rawrr..my irritating long fringe..like ghost ehh?

but im still quite happy with my uber long fringe.

random-ness.

haiz..very sleepy now. I got to finish a lot of things tomorrow to be on time. Uni stuffs are driving me crazy! Luckily peggy (bp one), gave me a lot of pointers on msn just now. Thanks a lot!! But im too tired to write, so i shall do it all at a short tomorrow, since i have morning and afternoon. Hopefully i have some time to practise my piano. I wanna do well in my august exam. :)

How i wish i can take a break from everything. Im so lost and clueless lo..like the poor lil girl u see right below.....

And RE owes me a lot of money!! Damn it!!!

loved

.Monday, May 26, 2008 ' 11:18 AM Y

Weekend just past and now its a monday again. Talking to fei ge and melinda on msn now coz apparently they are also msn-ing while working. hehe.

Feeling lethargic despite of the long sleep yesterday. perhaps i shldnt sleep so long. heex. But felt really tired the entire day yesterday, due to the long activites on sat. Had our last full dress rehearsal on friday night at SCC.. reached home at around 11 plus..super tired after a day of work and the rehearsal at night. Sat!! Woke up at around 8.15am..had two morning calls though....one from my dad at around 7.30am, and the other was from my mum. Went to jurong point to meet ShuLi for breakfast..wahaha..but she woke up late, so we ended up have brunch at mos burger. Reached SCC at around 11 plus..super lateeee... Had another round of lunch at around 12pm coz the ics had already ordered for us le..so we ate some. The real thing started at around 2.30pm, and ended at around 5pm.. the entire thing went on smoothly!! And for the soran bushi dance, we managed to get our costumes and the entire dance was so vivid and it was really filled with vibrancy! yayeee!!

So after the HR festival, junjie drove us to bedok camp. Crapped a lot and ate lottas of junks on the way. Me, ShuLi and Jellynn were sitting at the rear of the super big family car..so we kept turning back to see if Melvis was still behind us..hehe.. The way Melvis drives is so comical..hehe..but cannot blame coz he just got his license not long ago.. hehe. Ate dinner at bedok food centre coz we realised that we reached early..but we ate too long..so ended up late for the training. Then during the break..they then announced that they actually provided dinner..arghhh...shouldnt have eaten so much la..but being a glutton, i shared the meal with ShuLi. hehe. After the training, junjie drove us back again. as usual, he dropped me at bukit panjang..reached home around 11.30pm... dread!

Sun: Slept the whole day in short. Woke up at ard 11am, had lunch, practised my piano, then i had a long nap from 4pm to 7.30pm.. woke up to have dinner...then upload my photos which was taken during the HR festival.. ironed my clothes. Then i saw my brother back home with a deep cut on his knee, and today he is going to kota tinggi for a leadership camp organised by his sch from 26/5 to 29/5... LOL.. good luck! Slacked around for a while before going to sleep at around 11.30pm... so piggy right!

got sore throat since yesterday till now...ahhh.... :(

loved

.Wednesday, May 21, 2008 ' 5:52 PM Y

just taken a test this morning, and tada, this is the result. lol

anyway, got a bad news just now..dunno whether should i consider it a bad news or good news... maybe through my daily prayers and chanting, gohonzon knows what i like and my character well that im a indecisive person, so he made a painful decision for me.

thanx to those people who bother to console me this afternoon..after all no matter what happens, i still recieved a lot of support around me.

Thanks for everything. Now i just hope that everything will go on fine. Shall call wenqing tonight and woanling tmr for some consultation. :)

loved

.Tuesday, May 20, 2008 ' 4:45 PM Y

Phrase of the day: "Snobbish people should die!"
Coz someone pissed me off right smack early in the morning. :(

Anyway, just realised the chicken rice at the smelly hawker centre beside the market is very delicious.. The rice is nicer the chicken. hehe. Should go there and buy more often. Perhaps its becoz my tongue has healed. Oh by the way, my tongue no more pain pain le, not sore anymore. yayee, just realised the importance of my tongue. Without a tongue, or without a tongue that is functioning well, food is going to be so taseless although its seems tasty! So i shall pay more attention to my tongue from now onwards..try not to eat so much heaty food to prevent the pain from coming back again.. eEe..

Was super tired in the morning..dunno what happen..and slept early last night lor!! My body was kinda aching a bit..maybe i use too much strength for the soran bushi dance rehearsal yesterday. ahh, and we got no costume ler... sadded!

M & D spirit reminds me of Melvis. hehe. Just a internal joke.. so random ahh ahh ahh.

Having piano lesson later at night. Hopefully ive made some improvements during my weekend practices. Meeting dennis for dinner later at cwp later before going bukit timah. Thanks denden for the accompanyment.

Status: On pending! Ahh... those letters are drving me crazy!! But i still gonna wait! :)

loved

.Sunday, May 18, 2008 ' 10:55 PM Y

Very busy this weekend!! Its a long break though. No need to go work for three days..yayee!!

Yesterday, made my way down to SIM with my parents to do the first payment..its $4836.. so ex lar!! Heartpain for my mum, coz she forked out the money for me first. Then went home to practise my piano for the entire afternoon before leaving house again in the evening for dinner with shuli and NDP subsequently. Had a pizza hut treat from the SAF personels!! But we only had a short time to eat..wahh..so wasted a lot of food. After the entire training.. we were so thirsty and xuelian was hungry, so we headed to foodcourt to eat and drink something. And as usual, we camwhored!! TADA!! :)

They love their braces to bitts!

And not forgetting a group photo! After training still so energetic! heh! :)

Today was a great day at SYC. First and foremost, HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY, SHULI!! Hope you had an enjoyable birthday with us..dun worry, we din forget ur bdae! hehehe. Bought a cake for her, and made a photo frame for her too! Its the picture we took during last year's ASD connexion!! Hope you will like it!! Erm, and the photos are with xuelian..haha..so go bug her for them!!! Was at SYC from morning to evening! Morning was for reachout, and afternoon was for program..soran bushi dance!

The entire thing ended around 5. After that, me, jellynn, shuli and kaili took junjie's car to vivo.. The rest were on melvis's car though. Had fun looking out for parking lots in the super duper big carpark of vivo. Luckily we managed to find one. Dined at pastamania, also to celebrate shuli's bdae, one more round. hehe. Tried the terriyaki chicken pasta...tasted quite nice though.. After we finished our meal, junwen started digging something out from his bag..and it was a rectangular cheesecake for shuli!! Surprised! But the cake was a little dented!!

But Shuli was still very contented with her little cake!

ohhh..poor cheesecake.. *smack junwen*

Then the guys were wondering what to do with the cake to make it look nicer..

and TADA! They decided to put it on the pizza tray with a candle on the cake!!

Last but not least, another group photo!!

After leaving pastamania, we din shop anywhere...we are good kids, so we went home! Had a ride on junjie's car again.. he dropped me in bukit panjang, thanks a lot!! And i ate dinner at home again. hehe. such a glutton man!

So the day ended like that. Tomorrow is vesak day, public holiday. But gonna be at SCC for the full dress rehearsal. Hope we can see our costume tomorrow. :)

notty jieying is eating her grapes with her sore tongue...pain pain worr.. :(

loved

.Wednesday, May 14, 2008 ' 10:55 PM Y

how does it feels when u find urself struggling alone in this practical society? The desperation of getting what u want so badly, the desperation for constructive ideas and opinion, and most importantly the desperation of getting some understanding from your loved ones..

how does it feels when u suddenly realised ur loved ones dun understand you at all, at this crucial moment, and that you have to turn to your immediate friends and distant one...

IT HURTS when not even your loved ones support your opinion, the future you wanna lead.. ive been trying hard, but everytime i seems to have failed badly.. and they feel that i dun even bother to give a damn at all. The deadline is drawing near, im more worried than anyone else, and i have to find the best solution to calm myself down so that my loved ones wun get worried abt me and i dun wanna them to worry for nothing. But then they told me i dun seem to care.. Im really upset. really.

I know i may look calm and relax, but deep inside, im not.. i admit i have hidden my feelings very well... but im so disappointed that my loved ones dun understand me.. They even asked me, "hey, you can still sit here so relaxed in front of your com and dun even bother to discuss with us.." Im very lost..im still in search of the best way to solve this problem..and im trying very hard, and i tell them everyday regarding this issue..and yet this is what i hear from them..

oh well, i din noe results matter so much, even to your loved ones. Results determined your future path, your uni admission, and most importantly, it determines how others look at you. I always heard others saying, " No matter how others look down on you, your loved ones will definitely not, and will support you all the way" But today, i just realised, these words are simply nonsences. To the innocent ones, let me tell you, this will never exist in such a modern and practical society.

I think i need some councelling.

Im truely hurt.

loved

.Sunday, May 11, 2008 ' 10:03 PM Y

Been busy these few days, so this explains why i dun update that often. Anyway, had dance practice at SYC today..1pm to 4pm, but im late...reached at 2pm, but still managed to learn almost the whole set of dance steps. The entire thing ended at around 4.15pm.. Me, shuli, jellynn and samantha decided to go vivo for a walk.. so junjie drove us there and dropped us at harbour front. Had a great fun with my girls. hehe. Had ben & jerry with them.. Look look!!

ohhh...yummy-licious!! Choco-indulgence!!

Then when they were buying icecream, me and sam camwhored!
Then i was too bored, so i went outside of the shop to take photo.
And last but least our group photo. Im so ugly!!

After that, we walked around while sam left, coz she needs to study. Disturbed jellynn all the way...its so fun!! ohh..and maybe what we said today to disturb her may become real in time to come!! hehehehe. She must have enjoyed the jokes today. hehe.

Tomorrow is the start of the week again..and 17th of May is coming....im so worried..

Sometimes when i think im right...it just doesnt turn out to be the case.. I feel like an useless freak and its like i cant do anything about it coz whatever ive done..its always wrong..sometimes i wonder im i really that useless and is there something real wrong with myself.. I feel like as if the whole world is falling on me and im left alone to pick myself up....Ive been thinking a lot recently..thought of a solution for myself..but i dunno if that will be good for both parties... i really need a breather..

loved

.Sunday, May 04, 2008 ' 10:44 PM Y

Im back! hehheh. Spent a fruitful day at SYC today, from 10.30am to 5.15pm!! So long right!! wahaha. Attended the YWD-ASD IC meeting in the morning. I expected it to be a long 2 hours of boring meeting.. but i was wrong! It was a dialogue session...its like a mini gossip cum catch-up session! Each of us update to everyone about our personal life and also our thoughts and progress in ASD. Very fun and inspiring! Oh well, i shared a lot about mine.. very very happy! I also managed to tell them about a matter which i originally wanted to call wenqing up and share personally! Its about the telephone call i recieved weeks ago, but i din have the time to look through that matter..coz i really wanna do something for her and her family..she is really very keen, i can sense her eagerness, so i dun wanna give up on her. yeap, so the ics gave me some useful advise..hehe..its my time to act on it!

So the ywd session ended at ard 12.40pm. Me, jellynn and stacy then crossed over to the other side to dabao lunch for everyone. Some ywd asd members stayed for the afternoon HR Program com preparation..like xiao ying, myself, jellynn etc. LOL..teck kiang came and gave us some directions on how to go about in doing reachout.. arrr, but he wud be going for reservice for three weeks, so he wun be there for the preparations and also the actual day... Oh by the way, i heard from the ics that the exhibition will most likely be cancelled due to time constraint for preparation...so i went over to program side to help out..will be involved in a jap dance on the actual day! yea, so me and the other members were busy helping yong en and peiqi to figure out with the dance steps! And yayee!! We will be doing the full dance! hehheh. The dance is very very fun, quite tiring though.

So everything ended at ard 5.15pm, and so i went home with jellynn. Reached home dread at around 7pm. In conclusion, i enjoyed today's meeting in SYC!! waahahhaa.. Next week more hiong worr!! And next sunday will also be like that! :)

Tomorrow will be a busy work day for little miss jieying. wahh. Hopefully everything will go on fine and sooth sailing as i have planned. Gambette!

rawrr! So just a photo for the night. hehe. Rest well and sleep tight!

I hope my prayers will really be answered...

I need lottas of courage and wisdom to pull through..

For im sure i have 100% faith in gohonzon.

I must be in high life condition to break through!

i can do it!

loved