.Thursday, February 22, 2007 ' 10:12 PM Y
well...lottas things have changed. dear was out for one week..and many things happened. in short, we quarrelled and being wu nai, he initiated a breakup. i'm really sad. i know there is a lot of things to be done. but glad that i managed to hold back this relationship. He doesn't calls me dear anymore, but i can see that he still love me, maybe not as much as last time, and he still cares for me a lot. Life with dear is great!! He is my one and only. I really miss u...i really love u a lot!! dear, trust me. You told me that feeling for me had faded away, that's perfectly normal for a couple, and we had distance when u were in army. I fully understand that it takes time to heal. yea, out character might clash, but again, it is very normal between couples!! Dun worry dear. It is a matter of compromising, and both parties will have to compromise. Dun feel that way that i will be wei qu. I'm ur girlfriend, ur darling. It is a basic thing to do for relationship. We are still on the process of learning. On the way, we might feel tired and hurt. But ultimately, we still learn our lesson and grow stronger.We still love each other, i know. Lets talk face to face when u are out of army. I can feel the love u gave me, how much u dote me. In the past, i love to quarrel with u, to show u how important my presence is, and how much i cared for you. But i din know that it will hurt u that much. I'm glad that you gave me a chance to wait for you and to help you heal. Dear, lets work together, yo find the feeling back. Dun feel pressurise, dun feel stress. I am always here to support you. No one can replace your position in my heart.This two weeks is the time when we really calm down and think. I hope the feeling wun fade even more. As long as you still love me, maybe not like before, there is still high chance to revive that feeling. This is the intermediate stage. Dun feel scared, dear. There is always me.Frankly speaking, my mood was really bad. I dun eat for the whole day coz i had no appetite. I fell even more ill. I kept thinking of dear. My tears kept flowing non stop, like the running tap. I kept crying in school, i had to rush to the toliet and hide in the cubicle to relieve myself. I took advice from junwei, marcus and shaojie. Din manage to contact laoda. Thanx to the three of them, for supporting me these two days and also to give me super useful advices.At the moment, i wanna concentrate on my revision on common test. And also chant faithfully everyday to give me the wisdom to choose, and also hope that the feelings will revive and he will be back to my side like last time. I will do something on my part too. I'm so desperate that i am really willing to give my everything to him... Nam-myho-renge-kyo...I wanna hug him tight i never let him go. I wanna him by my side, supporting me. I really need you, dear!
